Friday, February 28, 2014

The 7 Myths Of Forgiveness

1. Forgiveness Does Not Mean Restored Trust 

When we forgive we get changed, not the person who did us wrong. The person's character who did you wrong is still the same. It's damaged and needs to be transformed and healed by Christ before you can develop trust with that person again. Remember actions speak louder then words, look for the change in actions to see if there character truly has changed. If not then it's like putting your hand back into the pocket with the snake, your going to get bit and/or burned again by that person.


2. Forgiveness Does Not Come After The Offender Says There Sorry 


We need to forgive them in our own hearts to free us from the damage it can do in our own lives if we hold onto it. Then if the offender also says sorry, well that's great too and you want that as well. but saying sorry and having true repentance for the sickness in your heart that lead you to make/do the bad choice/sin is totally different. Most people who say they are sorry really do mean it when they say, but they are also thinking about ways to do it again and not get caught next time. True repentance that leads to true reconciliation is when your are sorry for the sick heart and mind that lead you to do the bad deed.


3. Forgiveness Does Not Equal Salvation 


We need a “Remedy” (God dieing on the cross for our sins) and “Trust” in the one who provided the remedy so we will follow God. Jesus's death on the cross wasn't enough, it was just the "Remedy". We then also need "Trust" in God so we will follow God and take the remedy he provided on the cross.


4. Forgiveness Does Not Mean What They Did Was Ok 


No that person who did you wrong is still wrong and should know that for themselves, and you should let them know this fact in a kind loving way.


5. Forgiveness Does Not Lead To Greater Vulnerability 


When you get burned you lose the ability to tell the difference between touches of play, touches of aggression, and touches of love….everything hurts. We must heal the wounds. So don't hold onto hate or anger thinking that it makes you strong and/or will make you a weak person if you extend forgiveness to someone. Holding onto it only eats you alive and causes stress.....stress you will carry around forever if you don't deal with it with Christ! 


6. Forgiveness Does Not Mean We Have To Forget 


Jesus forgives our sins, but that doesn't mean they are erased from the record books in heaven. At the final judgment God knows all of our past sins and bad things we have done. They are apart of our history and will never go away......but here is the beautiful part. Jesus died for our sins and loves us so much that when he judges us he judges us with our new transformed heart and characters that we received when we gave our life to Christ when we accepted him, understood him, believed in him, trusted in him with faith, and love Him as our Father in heaven. If you do that Christ judges us based on our new characters....so our sins that are in our past don't apply as far as our salvation is concerned. That doesn't give us a licence to sin, but a choice to remember the past, but don't forget so we don't repeat it again. That's why actions speak louder then words.....look for them so you can ask yourself......has that person real changed? How are they different? Is it safe to start to rebuild a relationship with that person? There character will give you all the evidence you need.


7. Forgiveness Does Not Mean The Offender Gets Away With It 


Jesus knows everything and nobody can get away with it in His eye. Jesus will judge all fairly in the end, and justice will be served. Remember the soul and character gets damaged in the person who did us wrong, so they are paying the price already here on earth as they live. Imagine you are raped as a little kid by your uncle. Would you want to live your life recovering from the damage or live as your uncle going around raping kids all the time. I mean would you want to live that other life? No way!! Imagine living your uncle's life and you go around raping kids day after day after day. Of course you would pick your own life....and why would you? Because something much deeper gets damaged in the person who does us wrong. Imagine how damaged that uncles character must be to rap kids everyday and rest easy at night. There character might be beyond repair, might be eternally lost.


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